Do you make mountains out of molehills? This is a more severe issue that may appear on the surface. Whenever anyone spilled anything on the tablecloth, even just a glass of water, my grandmother would become furious when I was a boy. She was not unusual for having that reaction. Sometimes, the littlest things make people angry. One way of thinking about this concept is to realize that some of us turn the most minor incidents into catastrophes. Statistics show that altercations over trivial issues sometimes result in homicide.
To a certain extent, the tendency to make mountains out of molehills has to do with worrying and obsessive thinking. Because of the watch or clock not being precisely set on time, people with OCD become exceedingly uncomfortable, worrying about potentially terrible consequences. For those with OCD, everything must be perfect, or there can be catastrophic consequences. These people live in a world of “what if,” meaning what if the clock is set wrong, and my children get up late for school, and a terrible car accident occurs on the way to school.
This way of thinking and living makes life unbearable for those who worry and the loved ones who surround them. Graham C.L. Davey, Ph.D., conducted a piece of research on why we worry? Interviews of chronic worriers were conducted using questions such as “why worry about getting good grades in school?
*Here are some of the catastrophic consequences that chronic worriers came up with:
“I won’t live up to my expectations
I’d be disappointed in myself.
I’d lose my self-confidence.
My loss of self-confidence would spread to other areas of my life.
I wouldn’t have as much control as I’d like.
I’d be afraid of facing the unknown.
I’d become very anxious.
Anxiety would lead to further loss of self-confidence.
I wouldn’t get my confidence back.
I’d feel like 1 wouldn’t control my life.
I’d be susceptible to things that wouldn’t bother me.
I’d become more and more anxious.
I’d have no control, and I’d become mentally ill.
I’d become dependent on drugs and therapy.
I’d always remain dependent on drugs.
They’d deteriorate my body.
I’d be in pain.
I’d end up in hell.”
* From Graham C.L. Davey, Ph.D.
Another theory states that people men make mountains out of molehills when they feel aggressive and competitive. Aggressive reactions have to do with competing for status. Two men compete for the status of one over the other. In this primitive way of thinking, the most aggressive wins the girl. That is why, as stated above, some arguments over trivial things result in homicide.
Whatever way you choose to look at this, making mountains out of molehills results in frustration and misery for all concerned. It’s better the let these things go. What my grandmother should have done was smile and clean up the spill. Perhaps, if this had been her approach to life, she would not have had a heart condition. It was just an accident.
Instead of exploding, take deep breaths, say a mantra by reminding yourself, “it’s not worth it,” and see the humor in the situation.
Contact Dr. Schwartz at email@example.com